Friday, April 3, 2015

Children

    To have or not to have? That's merely one of the questions that involves children in a marriage. If you decide you don't want children what about if your spouse feels differently. Do you have children for them or do you deny them this life experience they always thought they would have? That is assuming you can have children. Although you can adopt either way.
    Let's say you're both on the same page and you're on the page that reads, "yes we want children!". Well that opens an even bigger can of worms for some couples. One person thinks they should be fed only organic foods, the other doesn't care as long as it's not moving on their plate. You may feel like the home is the best place to educate your child, and your spouse feels like it's too out of the norm. The actual issues of raising a child don't matter, but how a couple approaches them does.
   How will you make a decision for your child's well being when you can't find a middle ground, or at least some solid ground.
    Luckily for us we're not too far off in our thinking and beliefs about childrearing. Which will come in handy one day, even though James wasn't exactly reared by us. One of us isn't too far apart from the other. But I don't really know if we were always this way or if we grew this way. Like a vine, growing taller, but closer at the same time.
    I'm not trying to say that couples are always going to think the same way when it comes to an issue like this one. What I'm saying is it's helpful when a couple grows together, not just in love but in values. Not exactly opinions per say. I would never suggest for two people to go around attempting to share the same brain. Although a lot of people do.
    Whatever choices you make about children as a couple should be just that. As a couple, not two people trying to force their way with their children, but trying to help each other through this brave new world.

12 comments:

  1. Visiting from the A to Z Challenge. I like the premise of your blog. There are lots of marriage related issues that people don't think about until it's "too late" so I appreciate that you are bringing attention to them. The children issue is a big one. It's a brave thing to talk about. Keep up the good work here, I'll be back to read more entires!

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  2. You guys make such a good looking couple! So true about discussing issues about children and children rearing as something before one gets married. I followed a blog through the challenge last year that talked about what happens in a marriage when they get married and have agreed not to have children and then one of them changes their mind after being married for a few years, but the other spouse still doesn't want children. It can be a complex problem I do believe. We did want children; we ended up adopting the two we had, we did differ with child rearing but managed to raise them to adulthood :)

    I have prayed for you and Dillon for possible future children that you will have the opportunity to be able to rear one.

    betty

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    1. Oh that's wonderful, I'm sure they've learned a lot from the both of you! Thank you Betty, and thanks for reading!

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  3. acceptance is a key part of marriage! compromise is another like with the bedroom rules =) and kids are a blessing - no matter what when why or how! you'll never be ready for them and you'll make lots of mistakes, esp with the first one - but with all the love, they'll turn out just fine! happy c day - and keep up the great posts!

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    1. I totally agree, they are a blessing! Thanks for reading Tara!

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  4. You look so cute together!!! You'll have beautiful kids. I was blessed to find a guy who would help me raise my daughter as his own.

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    1. That's great Lisa! Thanks, and thanks for reading!

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  5. Children, or the lack of, is definitely something to be discussed long before marriage. We're very fortunate in that we're on exactly on the same page when it comes to children, which is never having them. I can't imagine how hard it would be if one of us felt differently. I had to laugh when I read about organic food versus not moving on the plate. That's just cute. :-)

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    1. That's great that you're both on the same page! Thanks for reading Danielle :)

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  6. Yes, indeed, it's a partnership.
    J here, stopping by from the #atozchallenge - where I am part of the A to Z Ambassador Team! (I'm a minion/volunteer under Arlee.)
    Great post. I'm looking forward to more. Let me know if I can help you in any blogging way this month. I've followed you on your listed social media sites.
    @JLenniDorner

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    1. Oh that's awesome! Thanks, and thanks for reading J Lenni!

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