Read The Baby Books

    It's official, you're going to be a mother. Whether you're pregnant, adopting, using a surrogate, you're about to enter new and unexplored terroriy. Naturally you wanna be prepared for what lies ahead so you pick up a few baby books. You decide to ask a friend/sister/mom group what books they read when they were waiting for their baby. Some provide a few books they enjoyed, and then there's that one. You know the one. She proudly says "oh I never read any of those books, you'd be better off to just take it as it comes".
     Now I will admit the moms that turn their noses up at reading pregnancy or parenting books often have some valid points, but I am astounded by the number of blogs where moms actually WARN other moms about reading baby books.
    I'm here to tell you, read the baby books. I'm not saying you have to, but there is no harm in being more informed. Knowledge is power, my friends.
     Have you ever noticed that the same moms who warn about baby books also dole out their own parenting advice freely (and maybe unasked for)? Coinidence? I think not. Newsflash: no one is the perfect parent. No one is born knowing how to be a mother.
     I had a lot of experience with children before I was a mother. I had taught Sunday School, I taught children dance, I have 7 nieces and nephews that I used to babysit all the time. I was even called "the grandchild wrangler". Even with all of that experience with and around children when I had my son it was all new to me. For one thing a lot of the things I went through with my son or my first son for that matter weren't things anyone that was my contemporary was going through. So I turned to other resources. Yes baby books, but also books about grief and mommy blogs, really anything that I could read and see myself or my babies in.
     You will never hear a mother say "I wish I didn't know this when I was expecting". I'll say the most crucial time to read any book or blog or online resource involving your child is during pregnancy. There are so many signs and symptoms that unless you've read about it you wouldn't know that something is wrong.
      I'm not here to tell you that reading baby books will make you the right kind of mother for your child. I'm just trying to tell you, don't fear the baby books. Don't be afraid of knowledge. Besides it's much easier to just ignore advice in a book than to tell your relative you don't want to use their advice.
      How do you feel about the great baby book debate?

This Will Be Our Year

  Hey y'all! I hope everyone's year is off to a great start. As you can see I'm a little behind on blogging. First it was an unfortunate reaction Miller had to some new formula. Warning to all parents, but especially parents of children with g-tubes, Pediasure is NOT always the best formula. It can sometimes be too harsh for little bellies. So don't be afraid to keep things like they are formula wise. Miller was almost instantly better once we switched back to his original formula.
    Then came the holidays. We had wonderful, memorable celebrations with family. Lots of food, lots of thoughtful gifts exchanged, lots of laughter, and lots of reminiscing. Miller was very spoiled, not just by presents but by affectionate relatives too. He of course was more than happy to oblige. I have to say this Christmas felt extra magical.

Miller's 1st visit with Santa Claus

Ugly sweater Christmas cookie decorating

Miller (well actually me haha) opening his Christmas presents

I saw this shirt at Target and thought it was too cute!

Mommy forgot milk so Santa got eggnog this year...oops!

Happy new year!

    Once all the festivities had ended and the happy chaos had died down, then came the colds. UGH. Seriously though each week someone new had the cold. I just did my week. Thankfully Miller didn't get one. So now I think (or hope) life will start to get back to a routine.
     With the new year comes new goals, new hopes, new beginnings. I'm actually one of those dorks that loves making new year resolutions. I probably just love the chance to make a list. All the same resolutions get made. Most years it's about reading more, or exercising more. The basic new year resolutions. Well this year I made the basic ones, but I also made a more general resolution. Not really a resolution, but more a mantra. 'Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen'.

  My mom always says that to me. She says it so much she actually gave me a necklace ( a gold fortune cookie no less, can't get a more optimistic symbol than that) because it came with a card that had that saying. The last few years have taken a bit of my optimism I'm a little ashamed to admit. It can be difficult to keep the kind of attitude that good things are headed your way when you've been delivered a few low blows. So that's why this year that's my mantra. And I have to say this year I actually believe it.
   What are your new year resolutions? Did you make any? Are you an optimistic person at heart?

 

The Mom Bun: An Age Old Tradition

  Mom buns. They're everywhere. At the supermarket. At church. Across the street sifting through the mail. Standing in front of you in line at Starbucks. Maybe you're the one sporting the mom bun. My point is, they might just be THE hairstyle of this era. They're so popular they have even graced t-shirts, mugs, and wall art. But is it really anything new?
   Now buns have nothing really to do with motherhood. Ballerinas wear 'em (proud ballerina here!), people wanting to save time, people wanting to try something new with their hair, even men have gotten in on the hairstyle. Still the term "mom bun" gains popularity. For the obvious reason of buns projecting someone wishing to save time, and moms being a major people group always looking for a few extra minutes.
   It wasn't until a few months back though that it hit me. Mom buns aren't just a trendy thing to iron on your t-shirt(although I think it's super cute haha), they're something moms and women in general have been doing since prairie days. As in Little House on the Prairie. Ma Ingalls.

    As someone who used to love watching the Ingalls, and still does, I find that extremely funny. That today in such "modern" times as these we "modern" women don something that in some minds would make people think of log cabins and no electricity. I'm always trickled by deja vu moments like this. It's little things like this that reminds us that we're not all that far from our ancestors or foremothers in a good way.
    There's a lot of trends in style or lifestyle that are throwbacks to our pioneer ancestors. Maxi shirts, I'm pretty sure our great grandmothers would rock one. Chicken in the backyard, no home was complete without them. Freezer meal cooking, our great grandmother would make enough sausage to feed a family of 5 for the whole winter.
    Now we have plenty of conveniences they didn't. The world wide web couldn't even be imagined in that time. Can you picture Ma on Pinterest? She would have probably put a intricate braid in her mom bun with one of Pinterest's many hair tutorials. Or maybe she would have finally figured out the best way to get grease stains out of her pans. If she had had Starbucks she might have taken a part time job as a barista instead of  working at the restaurant in season 6 (okay I know that wasn't real life, just for the show). Or maybe she would be a online Avon representative like me. I really wanna know how she got her buns so perfect back before elastic hair ties. I can't get them right WITH one. FYI the scrunchie was patented in 1986. You're welcome.
    I don't sport a mom bun as much as media and advertising might suggest moms do or should, I actually wore my hair in a bun more when I was a early teen. But that bun was much more polished. I'd say I wear my hair up 50 percent of the time. Keep in mind though I used to work in a salon. I learned a lot about taking care of your hair, and got used to having to have my hair styled for my job.
Although I've noticed that in friends and family that I knew before they were moms they wear their hair up exponentially more than they did pre-kids. I guess the cliché is true after all.
    Whether you're a mom or not are you a fan of the "mom bun"? Or more of a unwilling participant in the trend?

 Linking up with Annie and Natalie
                                           

  

What Y'all Missed This Summer

   Hey y'all! I hope everyone had a wonderful summer and the school year is off to a good start. I took a sort of unintentional break from blogging for the summer. So I wanna catch y'all up on what we've been up to in the last few months.
    Miller finally had his dedication at church in July. I had been meaning to do it for months, but couldn't get it done until July, better late than never I guess! When I went shopping for his dedication outfit I had a little boy's shorts outfit or something in mind. But when I started looking I noticed most of the outfits like that were way too small for Miller (he's in 12 months, occasionally 18 months clothes). So I went with a christening gown, which I actually ended up preferring. It was a special day, and a even sweeter memory.

The day of Miller's dedication

So angelic!

  In other Miller news, he is officially the proud owner of 3(almost 4) teeth! The last time I blogged he had zero. He got his first 2 teeth in late July on the bottom, then his top tooth came in 2 weeks later. I can't believe it but he's even cuter with his new chompers. He loves testing them out on spoons, cereal puffs, teethers, and really anything in arm's reach.
  He also has grown to love his bath-time. Yeah, you heard me. He loves to bang his arm against the water and watch it spill over the sides of his baby bathtub. New teeth, and loves baths? This boy is unstoppable!
   Other than gaining teeth and taking baths we've been enjoying lots of family and friends time. Miller is so social and outgoing, always laughing. Although he's developed a habit you could say for taking naps in the presence of company haha. Play-dates, church service, family birthday parties while all of his cousin sing happy birthday at the top of their lungs. The kid loves his sleep. He also loves to talk, he says "momma", "hey", and "I love you". I know the I love you part sounds a little unbelievable but it's true, and insanely cute.

Going antiquing!

Church



Miller's very first 4th of July!

Oh yeah, Miller competed in the Olympics this summer...



Reading from my Dad's Mom's Bible



Miller loves the Snapchat filters



Miller also became a doctor over the summer, busy guy.

    As for me I just recently joined Avon as a new representative! Y'all can find my Avon eStore here

 

How was y'all's summer? If you're a fellow blogger did you take a hiatus from blogging?  

Miller's 7 Month Update

   Hey y'all! This past Tuesday(on my 21st birthday of all days) Miller officially turned 7 months old. Each new month is both exciting and bittersweet for this mama. Sometimes it hits me how big he's gotten as if I haven't been with him every day of his life. Well for those of you who are curious about what he's up to in his 7th month of life, here you go!

Weight: At his last appointment he weighted 16lb. 10oz.

Clothes: 6-9 months. I've already started finding some of his Fall clothes.

Diapers: Still in size 2.

Food: He has started on his pureed foods, and is still taking his G-tube feeds. He was doing extremely well with the pureed foods, his favorites being bananas, squash, and pears; but I think he has started teething so he's not quite as interested as he had been. But he loves a nice cold paci!

Favorite Toy: He is still enthralled by his triangle toy. He also loves his rings that can connect and disconnect.

Best Time of Day: The morning is still his favorite. He gets up, gets changed, eats, and usually takes a late morning nap.

Likes: Being held, cold pacis, being talked to, playing with his toys. I recently discovered how he likes to join in on exercise time with mommy. We'll do squats together and he just laughs and squeals, it's the cutest thing. He also loves The Gilmore Girls theme song. Every time it plays I'll sing it to him and he just stares at me and smiles.

Dislikes: Not being held, and not having a cold paci. Oh and bath time is still torture to him.

Milestones: He recently had what I call appointment day. He got all 3 doctors done in one day; neurologist, gastrointestinal doctor, and pediatrician. I love how convenient it is that his neurologist and GI are across the hall from each other. Is it sad that that's the kind of stuff I get excited about now?! Haha moving on. All of his appointments went wonderful, they couldn't have gone better! I was the happiest by what his neurologist said, which was his first appointment of the day. He said he was very surprised and pleased by Miller's progress. He also said he wasn't too concerned by what he was doing physically, that his social interaction and awareness is more important. And everyone says he doing very well socially. He is getting even more gorgeous hair, and his eyes are even bluer. So far this has been a fantastic month for Miller!

Five Under $5: For Babies

   Hey y'all! I hope everyone has had a fantastic week. I know I've been looking forward to the weekend. For one thing my birthday is this Monday and my mom's birthday is on Sunday(I was a late birthday present you could say). But Miller will be 7 months old(officially!) on my birthday! So lots of happy things are on the forecast.
    A few weeks back I did a round-up for Five on Friday about five cool items I recently found for(you guessed it) $5 or under. Well I'm doing it again today, but for babies!



 1. Flash Cards- $1.00
   

     I'm sure your first thought is "uh isn't your son too young for those?", and the answer would be "no!". Nearly every article you read about early childhood development will talk about the importance of talking and interacting with your children. Showing them flash cards is simply taking the conversation a step further.
    When I opened these for the first time to show to Miller he got surprisingly excited. Because to him, everything is new, and therefore something to be explored or experienced.
     I found all of these flash cards pictured at none other than Dollar Tree. They have a bunch more about math, matching games, colors and shapes, etc.

2. Board Books- $1.00
  

   If you've ever spent more than five minutes in a Barnes & Noble you have probably glared at the outrageous prices they have for children's books. Oh that's just me? Never mind.
   Well if you can identify with that you would be happily surprised by the well priced choices you can find at Dollar Tree and Target's dollar spot. I've found a plethora of board books for Miller. He has regular paper page books as well, but the board books are a great choice since they're durable and you can easily disinfect them with cleaning wipes. Score!

3. Baby Wipes- $1.00

   When I'm out and about with Miller I find it's much easier to bring a small package of wipes rather than the 100 packs. I found this 32 pack for only a $1 at Dollar Tree, and can I just say how much I love the Mickey Mouse theme. I also saw the exact same pack of wipes at Target, but for $1.47. So if you do the math you would pay 47% more at Target for the exact same thing. You're welcome.

4. Baby Spoons- $1.00

   Miller just recently started on pureed foods(can you say 'exciting' and 'messier than I had bargained for'). So obviously his little mouth can't handle adult size spoons. I got these at Dollar Tree. They have them in 12 packs, with either 12 spoons or a combination of 12 spoons and forks. They come in fun colors, and they're BPA free.


5. 'O' Ball Rattle- $4.00

   I had never actually heard of the 'O' ball until Miller was in the NICU. A lovely neonatologist developmental doctor suggested it, she said it was one of the only toys she strongly suggested for parents to get for their children. Now the traditional 'O' ball is a little over $5, but the rattle is about $4 at walmart. I got it before the actual ball for Miller back at Christmastime. They're really great toys, easy to grasp, flexible, colorful. My son loves trying to put it in his mouth, and I love watching him try. Cue all the heart eye emojis!

  Well that's all folks! I hope y'all found this helpful. What are some of your favorites for babies that are under $5? Have you used any of the above?

 

       Linking up with April, Christina & Natasha

Linking up with Andrea, Narci, & Erika 

 

Is This Your Only Child?

  

   A harmless, simple question you could say. Polite conversation. Small talk. But to the grieving mother "is this your only child?" can bring up so many other questions and feelings.
    I often find when I'm in a store or at the doctor's with Miller there's a sweet lady cooing at him. Honestly I'm always very grateful when people make over him. Since he's had everything so different I feel so blessed to have people not see him as different than any other baby. They only see his ocean blue eyes, and jolly cheeks.
    They will usually ask how old he is. Then the next question will be, "is this your only child?". And the lump slowly forms in my throat.
    They never mean it as anything intrusive, and it's the most normal question in the world. Why I often ask the same question of people if they mention their children. But I can't help but not know how to answer. Most of the time I reply "no he's my second child" and go on strolling with a smile. Pretending for just a moment that my son is alive and well, a 16 month old little boy who loves his baby brother and little toy cars. Because it's easier to let the well meaning stranger believe.
     If the situation is a little more intimate, basically not in the frozen food section of Wal-Mart, I'll elaborate by saying "no my first son was stillborn". I know how uncomfortable it must make people feel. No one knows what to say. I don't even know what to say.
    Plenty of bereaved mothers are asked this question frequently and I wonder how they answer. Does there ever come a point in time where they simply answer "yes" with the explanation omitted from the conversation. Do I want that point to ever come? A day when James is no longer current events. For some it's too painful to be reminded of their child, and I understand that, I do. But for me it's too painful to not mention him. To deny that he was my son, and I was his mother. To behave as though I'm just a mom of 1, and not 2. At least that's how I feel now.
    I sometimes feel as though I don't know where I belong in the whole mom category so to speak. It can be difficult to identify when you're a mom of 2 but yet being a mom is all new to you as well. Even getting Miller's birth certificate was something new for me, as James never had one, something that never made sense to me. As if it isn't painful enough already, even the government only recognizes me as a mother of 1.
    Last year was my first Mother's day, which felt horribly ironic given I was a grieving mother desperately hoping everything would be okay with my soon to be born child. It didn't resemble anything Hallmark had done a commercial on. How strange to be a mother before you've even felt the joys of motherhood. Well this Mother's day when someone asks "is this your only child?" I shall reply with "no, my first son was stillborn, but both of my sons are in my heart".  This Mother's day please remember the mothers whose children may only be in their hearts.

 
         Linking up with Natalie and Annie

               

How Old Is Your Child?

 

   If you've been around anyone with children or happen to have a few yourself, you know one of the first questions asked(other than what their name is) is how old they are. If they're under the age of 4 you will more than likely hear not a year but a number of months, usually a double digit of months.
    You're probably thinking right now, okay and your point? Exactly. Why do people get so annoyed and bent out of shape when people use the month measurement of age for their child. Maybe you've never heard anyone complain about it before, or maybe like myself you've seen some people write mile long rants on their social media accounts about someone having a 36 month old and not a 3 year old. But why?! Is it hurting anyone? Is it hurting the child? Are people just so opposed to math? Actually I totally understand the last one.
   Yes I get the whole thing about if you're 30 years old you don't say you're 360 months old, but who cares if someone did? For me this whole uproar is like getting mad if someone says 1 gallon or 4 quarts of water. It doesn't matter, they're the same thing, and most people know that.
   Now this blog post is by no means an attempt to demonize those of you who are annoyed by the month system. Hey, we all have things we get a little too exasperated by. For me, it's people who take up the whole grocery aisle. There's room for us all! I think sometimes we let ourselves get too irritated with the wrong things, like me with the aisle hogs. If only people were as irritated about things they could make a difference with. If we all banded together we could have wider grocery aisles for everyone, but I digress.
    For some parents calling their children by the month number instead of a year is just a way of cherishing the baby days. Those days when you clap over every new thing, and of course Instagram a picture of the moment with the appropriate hash-tags. The days of babyhood go by faster than you could believe. No matter how many people tell you "blink and you miss it", we all do. I'll probably keep going by the month with my son until I can't do it in my head. Or at least until he tells me to stop.
   So keep on calculating those months, and weeks, and days, and minutes, and soak each one in. Celebrate every first, and every last. It only comes around once, make it count.


                      Linking up with Natalie & Annie

Miller's 6 Month Update

  Hey y'all! This past Sunday Miller officially turned 6 months old, half a year...is that crazy or what?! I thought I should do a little update on Miller, because you only turn half a year old once...

Weight: 16 lb. 2.6 oz.

Clothes: Currently rocking mostly 3-6 or 6 months sizing wise(although he's almost ready for the next size).

Diaper: Size 2 for a couple months now already.

Food: Still doing well with his g-tube, and he gets to start on purees very soon!

Favorite toy: He loves his Little Tikes Play Triangle, for some reason he thinks he can get it in his mouth. His "o" ball and keys are a close second.

Best time of day: The morning time! He loves to talk and play then.

Likes: Being held, having his diaper changed(surprisingly!), having his face wiped, talking, Daniel Tiger, being rocked to sleep in his rock 'n' play, books, eating his fingers.

Dislikes: Not being held, having to have saline drops, baths, tummy time(except when he gets to do his tummy time laying on mommy).

Milestones: Miller just had his first appointment with a neonatologist developmental doctor. It went very well! They said he is right on target for 5 months, which is what he is expected to be developmentally since he was a month early. As far as sitting up goes he's getting stronger. His little head is finally starting to get more hair on it.





Before Church this past Sunday!

 

When Your Child is Sick

  Hey y'all! I hope everyone's week is going well, this week has been better than the last week for us. You see Miller got his very first cold the Friday after Easter, and naturally we all got it too. So we've been busy with trips to the doctor, trips to the pharmacy, and trips to the couch so Miller can nap on mommy. Anyways, I thought I'd share a few thoughts from the brain of a mama with a sick babe.

• "Well for having a weakened immune system we're pretty lucky that this is his first cold and he's almost 6 months old."

• "Awww Daniel Tiger has a episode all about being sick....wait why isn't he going to the vet? This is incredibly inaccurate. "

• "There should be an easier way to give a baby nasal drops! Isn't there an app for that?!"

• "Parents should have immunity when their kids are sick. Don't get me wrong I'd rather have a 1,000 colds than Miller be sick once, but it's a new level of hard when you're both sick."

• "Oh wow, I lost a little weight! Jokes on you cold!"

• "Ugh liquid amoxicillin...we meet again. I had almost forgotten that smell. Until now."

• "If I'm going to get through this I'm going to need to double down on caffeine. I can probably Google how to put in a I.V...."

• "I never understood the people wanting a cure for the common cold. Now I do. Is there a walk for that?"

• "How is he this cute and energetic yet still so sick? I feel like death. Does he feel like death?"

• "I wonder how many days I can wear my hair in a messy bun before it stays that way permanently..."

• "When will this cold end?! Like is he going to college with this cold or what?!"

                    Linking up with Annie and Natalie

Miller's NICU Story

  Hey y'all! On my last post I touched briefly on Miller and his medical condition, but I felt it deserved a more detailed post.
   You might remember the term HIE(hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy), otherwise known as oxygen deprivation. Basically that means that for a period of time before Miller was born his oxygen supply was cut off therefore causing injury to his brain. HIE does not go away, it is a permanent condition of the brain. We have no way of knowing exactly when it happened. Now HIE can happen after birth but the way Miller's HIE presented it was pretty clear that his injury was prior to birth. Miller was very blessed in the sense that a lot of babies born with this injury can have organ failure, but he didn't. In fact at birth he presented fairly well, he was only taken to the NICU as a precaution with his lungs.
   The only sign and the way we found out that anything was amiss came a few hours later when I was holding Miller for the first time. I looked down at him in my arms and something seemed off. I can't even really remember exactly how it looked, but I knew right away. "Is he having a seizure?". The neonatologist took a look at him, and said no and that it was normal newborn behavior. I didn't even think about it later, taking what he said for face value.
   Fast forward to the next day, we were taking my aunt and cousin back to see Miller. We had just entered the NICU when the same doctor from the day before rushed over to us and asked if he could talk to us in private for a minute. It turned out it was a seizure. They knew because he had a few more that day. I was shocked. The whole pregnancy I had been concerned about him even getting the chance at life, I never even thought about this being a issue. I thought once he was out I could breathe easy.
    They called in the pediatric neurologist and ordered a EEG and a MRI. Over the next few days it was confirmed, it was HIE. The big concern at that time for getting him home would be feeding. That was his biggest hurdle. For the time being he had a NG tube(a feeding tube that goes through his nose), but he couldn't go home on a NG tube. The feeding specialist started working with him on his feeds. Unfortunately that was one of the areas that his HIE had affected. His swallow was out of sync causing silent aspirations after 7cc. After 2 swallow studies that had the same results it was finally time to make the hard decision to allow them to put a G tube in which would require surgery. After that it was just a countdown to home.   
    When I look back at Miller's time in the NICU it feels like another life entirely. The worry, the waiting, the what ifs, the second guessing. I remember the agony of knowing that if he had presented as severe(which his HIE presented severe on his MRIs) he could have had a cooling cap that has been used in the last few years to help babies appearing to have HIE hours after birth. I can recall waiting for him to come out of surgery strangely calm, then as soon as it was over questioning whether it was the right choice, even though the hospital said I had no other choice.
  I share this all because of the other parents that are maybe going through this right now, or have gone through this. Because I can remember sitting there in the hospital Googling every medical term I heard, reading every blog written by a parent who went through this. If we don't talk about this, who will?

Waiting for Miller's arrival!

Miller James is born!


 

His 1st picture in the NICU

The 1st time I held Miller

Chillin' under his bilirubin light

Headed for another test

His 1st Halloween was spent in the NICU, he also turned 2 weeks old that day!

Miller headed for PCN(Progressive Care Nursery, it's a step down from the NICU) the 1st time!

Right before his G-tube surgery