You probably all have heard some quote about a woman trying to change a man. Whether it be his wild ways, or maybe his eating habits. What is actually worth changing? And what is easier or better left alone.
Furthermore can you really love someone if you don't love all of their qualities. I believe you can, but to a degree. Acceptance to me isn't about loving every quirk but about loving them in spite of the annoying quirk. You may not love how your husband eats too much grease, but you still love him. It's bigger parts of their personalities that you must at least accept to truly love the other person.
Acceptance is one of the universal things we strive to get as a species. So of course we need it from the one person we plan to spend the rest of our lives with.
Acceptance isn't just about the other person. It's about you too. What you're willing to accept, what your deal breakers are in a relationship. Some people want to talk everything out, others want things to just be forgotten. If you don't know going in what you'll accept how can you expect the other person to know. That's not to say though that if you find you have different deal breakers 5 years later that you shouldn't talk about them, and that you shouldn't ask your partner what they need from you as well.
Sometimes we don't accept things about our partners because we think they could do more or deserve better. It's good to support the people we love, it's healthy. As long as they know we love them for them.
So what do you accept?
After a long time you just accept even the things you hate:)
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right, thanks for reading Mama! :)
DeleteI think you are wise to think about acceptance early in your married life rather than later :) You are right, so many think they can change their mate or their mate will change after marriage, but that often leads to disaster down the road. I accept that we are different and there are things he does that will drive me crazy and there are things I do that drive him crazy, but at the end of the day, I'm glad we are married to each other :)
ReplyDeleteGood word to start the challenge!
betty
I agree Betty, thanks for reading!
DeleteHi Robyn, that was a thought provoking post. Though I try for all-round acceptance, I do fail at it. I impose my standards and ways which is not really what I want to do… it's a tough one.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post - great start to the A to Z Challenge.
I look forward to reading more of this Theme.
Jenny, Pearson Report
2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
@PearsonReport
It's a hard balance, thanks for reading Jenny!
DeleteAcceptance is essential for serenity.
ReplyDeleteExactly Kate, thanks for reading!
DeleteSuch profound words! :) Acceptance and trust are things that make or break a relationship. Totally agree with every word you have written up there! :) Great going.. love the theme!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rohini! :)
DeleteLately I am trying to recognize that my husband accepts me and all of my tragic flaws, so I am trying harder to return the favor.
ReplyDeleteI think it can be a struggle for us all, thanks for reading Andrea!
DeleteHi, Robyn! I, too, am a Southern girl (almost 82 now, ha), and enjoyed your post. I also read your profile because I like to see the people whose blogs I read. I noticed one of your favorite movies is "Gone With the Wind". It has long been one of mine, along with "No Time for Sargeants." If you've never seen that one, you should rent it. Just too funnny! I really enjoyed your views on marriage, as well. Best regards to you, Ruby aka "Blabbin' Grammy". Come see me, if you have time and are so inclined. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHi Grammy! Yes I've seen it quite a few times, my Nana read the book 12 times! I'll be sure to stop by! Thanks for reading :)
DeleteThis was a great post. Acceptance is vital to a loving relationship. I remember reading somewhere long ago that often a woman enters a relationship believing she will change her husband and man enters the relationship believing his wife will never change--we are both wrong! And there is such a balance between acceptance and challenging them to be better--not because you don't accept them, but because you DO! Every time Ornery tells me how he is proud of me, it makes me want to be even better. Each time he reminds me the things I get hung up on are not important, I want to be less critical and understanding, and to live up to his view and opinion of me. Love is always the master of any change--even the Bible says that it is God's unfailing love that draws man to repentance.
ReplyDeleteI think I've heard that quote before, thanks for reading!!
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